Supportive Husband?
I'm having a difficult time drawing the line between "gentle" encouragement of Jan's Ironman endeavor and being thought of as an overbearing bully where whatever she does in training isn't enough.
Yes, she has trained over 8 hours in the past six days. Yes, she will be doing some massive swimming, biking and running this weekend. But I still worry about whether it's enough to make the time limits at the Tupper Lake Tinman in three weeks and Louisville Ironman in twelve. So, I sometimes feel that if I'm not going to push her, who will? Yes, Jan is obviously self-motivated and highly competitive. But even the best athletes usually need an extra push now and then, don't they?
I can't imagine being a real coach and a husband or wife of the athlete you are coaching. That seems like an absolute no win situation. Something would have to give in the relationship. It's one thing to coach, push an athlete to do an extra interval or two, have them get upset and then go home. It could be worse to be married to that athlete and bring them home and resume a "normal" relationship.
Fortunately I don't go that far. I hope. I'm not Jan's coach. I am a longtime athlete who knows a little about sports and that may be a detriment for this quest. I want to be the supportive husband and not a pain in her butt.
Yes, she has trained over 8 hours in the past six days. Yes, she will be doing some massive swimming, biking and running this weekend. But I still worry about whether it's enough to make the time limits at the Tupper Lake Tinman in three weeks and Louisville Ironman in twelve. So, I sometimes feel that if I'm not going to push her, who will? Yes, Jan is obviously self-motivated and highly competitive. But even the best athletes usually need an extra push now and then, don't they?
I can't imagine being a real coach and a husband or wife of the athlete you are coaching. That seems like an absolute no win situation. Something would have to give in the relationship. It's one thing to coach, push an athlete to do an extra interval or two, have them get upset and then go home. It could be worse to be married to that athlete and bring them home and resume a "normal" relationship.
Fortunately I don't go that far. I hope. I'm not Jan's coach. I am a longtime athlete who knows a little about sports and that may be a detriment for this quest. I want to be the supportive husband and not a pain in her butt.
Now you know why husbands make lousy coaches for their wives. In order to have a good coach/athlete relationship you have to set the ground rules. The coach sets the rules, athlete follows them. If the athlete doesn't follow them they part ways. The husband/wife relationship is more complicated. In your case the wife is the athlete. You may have information that would help but it needs to be offerred in a supportive non-authoritarian way. "Jan, may I suggest..." or "If I was training for an Ironman I might..." Otherwise you really just need to wait to be asked for your opinion. On the other hand the support you give unconditionally is more valuable than any gift you can give her. My guess is that when she crosses the finish line of the Ironman you will more excited than any coach could possibly be. Remember, there's no crying in triathlons.
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